I was recently enjoying some light TV and I was struck by the casual way that the interviewer asked the guest to recall a truly horrendous life experience around the death of his mother. The guest was clearly uncomfortable but he extrapolated on this incident. It made for uncomfortable viewing.
Since the dawn of social media it's become much more common for people to share their trauma: within the realm of social media, within other forms of media, and in wider society. I would argue that personal disclosures should be used mindfully and with purpose, and never just for light entertainment.
Sharing a traumatic experience can be incredibly positive. It can be healing to be heard and believed. Audiences might feel an empathy that overcomes former prejudices. Once one person shares then other people feel permission to do the same, breaking down the barriers of silence. Communities can form amongst people with similar experiences, and they can bring about real change.
Sharing personal experiences, of course, pre-dates social media. In the 1960's feminists conducted consciousness-raising groups, where women would take turns to discuss their personal lives. This helped women form links, find patterns, and feel less alone. These feminists coined the phrase 'the personal is political' to express that what was happening in the private realm was the result of larger political forces, and that women could get together to fight for a better deal.
People who are advocating for political change have long shared personal stories through the media as a way to connect with audiences. The first lesbian couple to be interviewed on Australian television were taking an awful risk, but their bravery was rewarded with greater acceptance. Political organisers who use this tool know that most legacy media is run for profit, and that these outlets are constantly weighing the financial imperative to provide entertaining content with their larger societal responsibilities. An alternative has been independent media run directly by political groups, but these projects were limited by time and cost. Whichever road they went down, political advocates knew that there was the possibility that a story shared with a sympathetic and responsible media source might be distorted by someone else. When sharing personal stories with the media these are the calculated risks that groups of adults can take, but most people open their first social media account as barely-supervised tweens.
Social media has been revolutionary because it's cheap, freely available, and provides an individual with a huge potential audience: compare the cost and effort of a small organisation creating and distributing 1000 copies of a magazine with the ease with which a single social media user can earn 1000 likes. Social media is a powerful tool, but it doesn't come with a manual. Individual users are not benefiting from the experience of older media professionals who can help them navigate the moral and ethical responsibilities of publication. When a social media post blows up in someone's face they're not part of a group that can provide support. The sheer scale of social media means that there's no human weighing up whether its wise to publish an individual post; there's simply a machine that's been instructed to work out whether that post is going to increase audience engagement. Engaging posts are prioritised by the machine and can therefore travel a long way, regardless of the consequences for the individual and for larger society.
Personal stories, especially on traumatic topics, are engaging. Sharing personal stories is a way that people connect. This is why they're a powerful tool and this is why they're, to use an uncomfortable term, "entertaining". Over the course of many years, social media has been prioritising these stories for better and worse. My observation is that this has had the societal impact of creating a space for people to tell their stories, but it has also created a pressure or expectation for people to share when there may be good reasons not to.
The podcast series Shocking, Heartbreaking, Transformative explores whether personal disclosures are helpful for individuals, or simply profitable for media outlets. Producer Jess Shane explores this cultural phenomenon by collaborating with four documentary subjects to curate their own stories. One of the subjects, Ernesto, has joined the program because he hopes that it will help his fashion career. He proposes a number of angles they could use to make his story engaging, such as his recovery from drug addiction. When I hear this I feel a little sad that he doesn't believe that his work can stand on its own merits, but it's smart thinking in its own way, and it demonstrates the cultural expectation that everyone share their story.
There's a solid reason to only trust certain people with sensitive information. People can be unkind, especially on the internet. Bullying isn't just words, it can also be actions such as violence or exclusion from essential services. There were times when I was working as a journalist that I didn't pursue stories because I was concerned that the subject was too vulnerable, and that they didn't have the social supports and emotional resilience to deal with the possible consequences of their disclosure. Those same people can get on the internet and make their own disclosures without any kind of gatekeeping, for better or worse. A huge amount of modern media doesn't have the benefit of journalistic experience, so the individual has to make their own choices.
When it comes to sharing your own stories, whether that's through podcasting or any other format, it's useful to weigh up the costs and the benefits. You should be clear on what your goal is, whether you can realistically reach that goal through sharing, and whether you have the resources and emotional resilience to cope with people being unkind or taking it the wrong way. If you're not already part of a wider group advocating for change, then perhaps you could discuss this choice with someone you trust. If you've thought about it and the answer is 'yes', then you might be about embark on a truly life-changing journey, but take a breath and give yourself a moment to think before you press 'share'.
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